In my quiet moments of recuperation, I’m examining this incident from various angles. I can’t help but find parallels with another major life trauma. That day (thirty years ago almost to the day), cycling on some unfamiliar roads, I got a clear message not to venture down the road before me. I turned my bike around, only to have another messenger call me back. I was raped on that road.
Those few moments of confusion haunted me for years, calling into question my ability to trust my intuition. Only after much attention and practice have I become grounded and confident in my ability to discern inner voices and quickly identify what I call the “heart whisper.”
Last week, moments before I went down, I heard my heart whisper, “walk this rail.” I didn’t dismount my bicycle; I kept going. The ride was smooth, the crossing short, my angle just right -- I could do this. That was my voice of reason. This voice often contradicts intuitive nudges. Knowing this, I can usually catch myself. But in the fleeting moments of thought on a bicycle, my ability to discern and respond was limited.
I’m not going to beat myself up that I didn’t respond differently. That’s not the point. I was listening, and I received the message. That’s the work. In the aftermath, as EMTs arrived, it was my heart whisper that guided me in advocating for the safest and least painful path to transfer my wounded body onto the gurney and later onto the hospital bed. I was grateful to have this wise guidance close-at-hand.
We need to be listening, engaging in discernment, and able to identify our heart’s whisper. Now is a time to pay attention. The voices of media, social media and the like are many, varied and often conflicting. The only reliable voice we have is our heart whisper. It’s always available to us, and is guiding us in the direction of our highest good. In times of doubt, confusion, or chaos, we will be well-served having practiced inner listening. We may not always follow the lead of our heart whisper; what’s important is that we’re paying attention.